Managed to get out of London eventually.
I'm beginning to think that Heathrow employees must be more pissed off about the continuing fiasco at that airport than the customers themselves. Imagining working at Heathrow? You'd have to lie about your job to taxi drivers anyway for sure, just to prevent being drawn into a conversation about how shit your place of work is.
I wasn't flying out from terminal 5, but even terminal 1 was all fucked up. There was a stand off between airport security and a bunch of people who refused to go some crazy roundabout way for their flight connection "what kind of sense does that make?" one of them screamed before the poor battered security dude just snapped "none" followed by, "listen, I'd knock this whole fucking place down so you could get through, only I'd get told off then, wouldn't I?" The travellers retreated, and the security dude cast a nervous glance towards his superior who was traipsing up one of the several unneccessary ramped corridors that sigh under Heathrow's low ceilings, turning the sprawling mess of an airport into a chronically shite labyrinth of suspended doom.
Anyway, I got through, and then while on the plane, eating my 49th Kinder bar and reading the Guardian, the pilot made a bit of a 'I'm-pissed-off-but-I-have-to-be-professional-so-I'm-going-to-adopt-a-sarcastic-tone-instead' announcement: "hello, everyone. They're very good here at Heathrow. They've closed one of the departing runways to allow planes to land on it instead. So we'll be another thirty minutes on the ground."
So after all that, even the chewing gum-stained, cabbage-smelling Dublin airport nearly feels positively palatial. Nearly.
Yes, travelling through Heathrow sucks. But imagine working there? Shudder.
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4 comments:
"a chronically shite labyrinth of suspended doom"
That should definately go below the welcome to Heathrow sign. I havent flown out of Heathrow in a few months thank god. WOrking and living in Bournemouth now, so I can get the lovely Ryanair flight to Dublin. The Bournemouth Airport definately resembles my old shed at school and it does not boost a HMV or a La Senza for that special person you have forgotten to buy a gift for until, 5 minutes to boarding. There are no real queues, you will maybe wait 5 minutes to get through security instead of over an hour at any of the major London airports. The funny thing is when you come back to Bournemouth, you dont even go throught the airport. As soon as you have touched down, you will be in your car in five minutes.
dear god,
i hate heathrow - i is one of the most demoralising places on the planet
admittedly i'm not a fan of flying, but there's something about hanging around heasthrow waiting that is very, very difficult to handle.
"The funny thing is when you come back to Bournemouth, you dont even go throught the airport. As soon as you have touched down, you will be in your car in five minutes."
that sounds good.
My airport of choice in London is, in theory City, but I refuse to give Air France a squillion euro for the privilege. I flew through Luton this weekend also, which wasn't bad, if a bit depressing. At least it's closer to ACTUAL London than Heathrow.
cabbage-smelling! that's it. it seems obvious now. i could never manage to pin down exactly what the stench in dublin airport was. my sincerestestestestest thanks, una.
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